Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
