please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize