I wish i was in the wii world.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
