Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
