you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize