Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
