No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
