Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
