My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
