She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
should my penis look like a turkey
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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