we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
