She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
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