Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
