she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
