Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
