4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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