I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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