I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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