I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
