"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this just has baby written all over it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
