I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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