but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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