hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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