in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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