Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize