Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
third nipple confirmed
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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