i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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