"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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