SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
