Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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