I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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