Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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