the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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