im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I need moral support for this bender
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
