I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
