I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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