I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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