you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
