hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
