I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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