After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
