Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize