Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to make out with him forever
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
