Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
