I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
my shit smells like andre
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
