Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
