her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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