'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
