Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
