Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize