Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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