we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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