Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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