You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
50% drunk capacity currently
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
