I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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