This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize