What a fucking waste of an outfit
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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