bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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