Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
