There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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