I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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