You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
And then he peed in my hair
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