One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
