Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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