If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
