You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize