why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
