Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
