She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize