Can i not drive my cunt home
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
