Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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