Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
