Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
