i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
